What Think Ye of This Nonsense?

Cringe evangelism, lazy theology, and why saying ‘Jesus’ five times won’t save you

In last Friday’s paid post, I wrote about the importance of being able to communicate with a secular culture — one that believes it has moved beyond God.

Today, I want to give an example of the church failing to communicate well with the people around it.

Allow me a brief rant.

And if you are offended by a bit of snark, I apologise in advance.

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While the city of Dublin does not have many Christians, it has an endless supply of absolutely awful “god-vertisements” on its public transit system.

One of the purveyors of this tripe, which you can see below, always uses King James English because everyone knows that the fastest way to an Irish person’s heart is by reminding them of an English king.

Recently, someone has started posting what I can only call magic Jesus mantras on the DART (Dublin Area Rapid Transit).

Faith as a Magic Formula

Would you like all of these fabulous prizes? Just say these magic words — and presto! It can all be yours.

Nothing like lazy theology and awful evangelism to warm the heart on your commute.

Let me begin with a question.

Why is so much Christian media cheesy and shallow?

Someone made this poster and then stood back and said something like, “Ah, this is brilliant.”

Look at what the author of this poster is promising:

What if…

You could live forever!

You could have true hope, peace, and joy!

Jesus Christ

The only way, the

truth, and the life!

Just say these words:

Jesus Christ is Lord.

Jesus, help me.

Jesus, save me.

Jesus, I believe in you.

Jesus, I accept you.

I don’t know who created this. The contact info is a Gmail address (I redacted).

There are a few ways to take this poster, and they are all incredibly horrible.

First. Perhaps the person who made it really believes that Jesus is just a magical incantation.

“Say Jesus’ name five times, followed by these magical phrases and ‘Poof, Eternal Life.’”

(If they knew their Bible at all, they would have said Jesus seven times. Five is just not a very spiritual number.)

Of course, the average person on the DART is probably thinking,

“If I live forever, will I still have to pay Dublin rents?”

All you have to do is say these magic words and you get to live forever with true hope, peace and joy.

So many questions

This, of course, makes me wonder, “Why are peace and joy not true? What is the difference between true hope and fake hope?” Maybe if they messed around with the formula a bit more, and they would have been able to promise:

True Hope™, True Peace™, and True Joy™

Perhaps a sixth and seventh Jesus mantras would have done the trick. Ah, but they were probably running out of space on the poster.

Conversation with the printer:

“We can add ‘Jesus, I think you are cool’ and ‘Jesus, ‘sup?’ But you will need a bigger poster, and that is going to run up the cost.”

“All right, leave it off. They won’t get true peace and joy, but I do have a budget to consider.”

Okay, so option one, magic incantation.

Option two is “dishonest salesperson”.

Because if you read the poster carefully, you’ll catch how sneaky this person is. They don’t say, “If you say this magic formula, you get to live forever, true hope as well as peace and joy.”

First, they ask, “What if you could get all of these fabulous prizes?”

Then they make a statement: ‘Jesus Christ, the only way, the truth, and the life!’

Twisting Scripture

Which raises another question. Why did they insert the word only in here?

Only isn’t in the text.

It is just an extra word that changes Jesus’ declarative statement into a defensive one.

Say those two statements in your head:

Jesus is the way.

Jesus is the only way.

One feels like hope, the other feels harsher and argumentative—doesn’t it?

I seem to remember a story in Genesis 3 about someone who twisted God’s words around to manipulate. Just sayin’.

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All right, back to the main point.

While the poster asks, “What if you could have this?”

They don’t specifically say “then just say.”

They ask a question.

Then they make a statement about Jesus; then they tell people to say something.

“Want to get better looking?”

“Buy my snake oil.”

“I bought your snake oil and I’m not better looking.”

“I didn’t say my snake oil would make you better looking.

I just asked if you wanted to be better looking – then I told you to buy some snake oil. You made the assumption that they were connected in some way.”

I don’t know if option one or option two is worse.

Of the five statements from the incantation, I love that only one has a Bible verse.

Could they not find Bible passages to say what they wanted to say? Did they forget to add the next 4?

Although this is a correct quote from the KJV, most normal people would think you are bad at English. And they would have no idea what you are talking about.

Why This Matters

I don’t know what percentage of people on the DART see this type of nonsense.

But this kind of thing does so much damage to people who are trying to live out their faith authentically.

Because it paints us as ignorant know-it-alls who believe we have all the answers.

These types of posters are completely tone-deaf, and if I were a gambler (I’m not), I’d wager I know which part of this island the person who put this up hails from.

(Psst. For my American friends, I am thinking a couple of hours north of Dublin.)

In Ireland, people often call God “the Sky Fairy.” This kind of stuff only reinforces that.

I think a lot about words and how we use them. When we want to talk about Jesus or our faith, we have to use words that open conversations, not shut them down.

This stuff frustrates me so much because it does so much damage to people who genuinely want to talk about Jesus.

What If…

What if the person who put this poster up spent the same amount of money demonstrating God’s love to people – rather than irritating them?

Ah, but then you’d actually have to talk with someone, not at them.