Be Bold? Be Yourself

Being faithful to Jesus doesn’t mean becoming someone you’re not.

Things I Learned in University

When I was a university student, the worship team at the church I went to frequently performed a song called “Be Bold, Be Strong”. The song’s message was that boldness was running around telling everyone to get ready for Jesus.

And it wasn’t just the music. A common theme in the sermons was, “If you love Jesus, you need to be willing to go up to anyone and tell them about him.” That stuck with me and shaped how I understood faith and myself.

I eventually began doing contact evangelism with my campus fellowship. I got involved, not because of pressure from a particular person, but rather from the prevailing zeitgeist: an atmosphere where being faithful to Jesus meant having a sense of urgency around telling everyone you could about him. If you loved Jesus, you demonstrated it by stepping out and speaking up. So I did. I can’t say I ever enjoyed it, but I did it.

Later, when I planted campus ministries at Albany and Cornell, I continued doing contact evangelism. It wasn’t because we saw any fruit from doing it, but rather because I believed what I had been taught for years, that if you get past your fear and do what you are supposed to do, God will like you, be proud of you. Or something like that.

About a year into our time at Cornell, recognising that nearly all my motivations for doing it were unhealthy, I stopped.

I’m A What?

A few years later, I was exposed to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and discovered that I am an INTJ. I understand that there is a debate around the validity of the MBTI assessment, but for me, having something explain my personality type was a major paradigm shift. It was the first time in my life when I felt it was okay to be me.

Learning about INTJs was fascinating, but what stood out to me most was the “I” — Introversion. I grew up with an over-the-top, extroverted mother who treated my introversion like a personality flaw that I’d eventually grow out of.

When I went to church, I heard the same message.

To finally hear that God had wired me a specific way and I didn’t need to try to be someone or something else was incredibly liberating for me.

The fact that I don’t enjoy walking up to people and starting conversations says nothing about my character or my commitment to Jesus.

I am a fan of the Boston Red Sox. I love to talk about the Red Sox. I have seen random people wearing Red Sox caps in Dublin. I don’t go up to them and start chatting about the 2004 season, why Dwight Evans deserves a place in the Hall of Fame, or anything actually. I smile and keep walking.

I still encounter that message that equates faithfulness to Jesus with being outspoken for Jesus. A few years ago, I came across an article written to pastors. It told them not to ignore introverts when assigning people to ministry roles and gave an example of how they may not be able to greet, but they could fold bulletins. Ugh.

Two Types of Boldness

Following one of these conversations, a story about Peter and John from Acts popped into my head.

I don’t think it is a stretch to say that, based on what we read in the gospels, Peter is an extrovert, and John is an introvert.

Extroverts are external processors. They “talk to think.” Introverts are internal processors who generally think before they say anything. When the gospels recount Jesus having a discussion with the 12, and one of them jumps in and says something they regret, odds are it is Peter.

One of the benefits of introversion is that many of your dumbest thoughts never make it to the light of day because you thought them through before you speak! (Some do still manage to get through of course).

Of course, Peter’s extroversion also led to some incredible experiences. He walked on water. He blurted out, ‘You are the Messiah.’ There is a long list.

John tends to be quieter and more reflective. But when Jesus does not receive a proper welcome in a Samaritan village, John and his brother offer to call down fire and destroy the inhabitants. John was not simply the quiet, reflective person we often think of, but someone with passion that at times led to him also receiving a rebuke from Jesus.

In the book of Acts, when the day of Pentecost comes, they both receive the Holy Spirit and are changed. But their personalities remain distinct. Peter stands up; John remains in the background.

In Acts chapter 3, they go to the temple and meet a man who cannot walk, and Peter initiates.

After the man is healed, he hangs onto Peter and John while the crowds show up and attempt to piece together what has occurred. And at that point, you guessed it, Peter preaches another sermon.

When we turn to the next chapter, we learn that John has joined in and is also teaching.

In the midst of this, the religious leaders show up. As they assess the events of the day, they also describe what they say in terms of boldness. And here is their assessment:

“The members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, so they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the Scriptures.” NLT

They were both seen as bold.

Peter and John are consistently portrayed differently. Yet both were capable of intimate conversations with Jesus. Both were capable of inserting their feet in their mouths. And both were capable of standing up in the midst of opposition and boldly proclaiming Jesus.

The Bias of Loud Leadership

All church leaders need to be careful of a bias that says the things I do are what a faithful follower of Jesus does. While most would agree with that, we all have blind spots.

So many church leaders are extroverts and feel a connection with Peter. This often comes through in how they teach and preach.

It not only places pressure on people to behave in specific ways, but can lead some to feel like they are a disappointment to Jesus when we fail to meet a standard that seems natural to others.

One of my hopes for the church is that it would become a place where people aren’t shaped into someone else’s ideal of what faithful looks like, but freed to become the people God actually created them to be.

That kind of life — honest, natural, and Spirit-led — might not always seem bold to others. But I believe it’s exactly the kind of life Jesus describes as abundant.

Photo by Lova Andrianina on Unsplash

Saints Peter and John Healing the Lame Man, Nicolas Poussin